one time i was going to feed my dog a fruit and i picked up an orange but i was 4 am so i just threw the orange at his face and somehow that orange disappeared i swear to god he ate that whole orange with one bite and i dont know how
i was 4 am
tumblr user lolinepeta planned to feed his pet dog so hard, he became a measurement of time.
christmas is so much worse as you get older it’s like “what do you want this year?” “a sense of purpose”
"a career" "financial security" "a sex life" "tuition for grad school" "alcohol" "a nap" "socks would be nice"
who needs punk rock when you can have punk cock
that could have been a very different picture
Pros of dating me:
- You get to date me
Cons of dating me:
- Whichever cons are closest to us I guess maybe we could even cosplay together
this made my day
This is my new favourite photo
i have a santa kink. i want you to dress up in a sexy santa suit and leave me expensive presents under the tree when im sleeping. leave afterwards
I’m not sexist but I can guarantee that this was written by a women…
"im not sexist im just going to assume this was written by a woman because it has something to do with wanting expensive gifts" moron